The first time I created this blog, I titled it "Allons-y à Paris!". A seemingly innocent change to end with an ellipsis reveals a girl, sitting in her bedroom in Portland, Oregon, unsure of herself and feeling the impending doom of being alone, in a foreign country, unable to handle the pressures of another culture.
That was two weeks ago.
Now, I sit in a room 5269 miles from home, according to Google maps, finally beginning to write about a trip that I possibly was unprepared for, but that I find myself in the middle of all the same. I feel a little silly that it took me this long to get started here - for everyone else I know, blogging about their abroad experiences comes with the territory - but I find it really difficult to reflect upon (or perhaps admit to ) my feelings, experiences, thoughts. Out of all the things to worry about, how did blogging become one of them?! In any case, here I am: starting in on one fraction of this journey.
It is in my nature to worry. I have difficulty with transitions but become restless in one place when I think of all the grand adventures I could be having. I hate coming and I hate going, I suppose. It follows, then, that I worried endlessly before leaving my hometown, friends and family, and setting off for France. Is anyone going to understand my French? Will I like my host family? What if I'm the ugliest person in all of Europe?! I had reason to be nervous, I think... the only preparation I did for a five month excursion in Europe was to change the language on my computer from "English" to "Français", and even that was overwhelming for me. I had (have) no idea how to survive in a place where everything is in French. But, without a challenge, there is no reward...
Lastly, I'm a liar. I am not, as the title and description of this blog would suggest, in Paris. I am currently in South-West France, 40 km from l'Océan Atlantique in a city called Bordeaux.
More to come soon.
Love and Wine,
Akari
I love that you shared this. I love knowing more about you becasue I love you. I'm going to read on.
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